I'M NOT BOSSY I JUST HAVE BETTER IDEAS
"You're so bossy!"
Or actually I am trying to be a leader. How many times does this happen a day where women are just trying to voice an opinion, share an idea, or give feedback, but are then criticized for doing so. I have started reading Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead, by Sheryl Sandberg. Sandberg is the chief operating officer of Facebook and is ranked on Fortune’s list of the 50 Most Powerful Women in Business and as one of Time’s 100 Most Influential People in the World. Needless to say, she is very inspiring. Though I have never had the dream to own a huge corporation or help run a company– women are in the same boat regardless.
Though this story I am about to share isn't about making million dollar decisions with powerful businessmen it is the first time where I can remember being treated as bossy or excuse me, a bitch for trying to be a leader. I am not a competitive person by nature. I will say though when I know someone is wrong or taking the incorrect path I do what I can to steer them straight. Especially when it will effect a group of people. I can be a leader when it is needed or I am put in a position to do so.
One thing I loved about being in school was working with people. I believe that projects and concepts have so much more potential when working on a team. This was a love of mine until I was put in a group with all males. I suppose up until this point I made design choices on my own or I was with one other person and our responsibilities were always shared. Sandberg brings up a point that men think they are awesome whether someone tells them or not. Men say, "I am awesome." Whereas women explain the process, who helped them, how hard they worked to get to the "awesome." This is a great way to explain my thought process after completing this group project I was assigned. I clearly knew the concept that was decided on was not appropriate and would result in failure. However, anyway I approached the situation I got ignored or even felt myself that I was being bossy just to get them to listen to what I had to say. I knew the steps I needed to take to be the leader, but it wasn't happening. Even the other guys on my team could see my solutions were the right ones, but defying the work already completed was not going to happen. I will say however, the next day seeing that my "teammates" clearly didn't have an understanding of the project and what was asked, I totally shined during that critique.
A campaign called Ban Bossy was recently started to encourage girls to raise their hands, get a spot at the table and lean in. I was so happy to learn about this! In the video below see what some of my favorite actresses, politicians, singers, and comedians think about the word bossy.
If you are interested in Lean In take 10 mins and watch Sheryl Sanberg's TED talk here.
Though the A Note to Self event coming up inspired these posts. I am not typing out these thoughts to rant on about women and our hardships in this world, but I am creating them for myself. As you can see, I try to be somewhat of an advocate for women. I hope that you all take something away from what I am saying of course, but I teach myself a lot by writing down my thoughts. These are things that I have had spooling around in my mind for sometime so it is nice to finally get them out into the world.